Sweeney Todd Musical Soundtrack Lyrics
No Place Like London
ANTHONY:
I have sailed the world, beheld its wonders
From the Dardanelles
To the mountains of Peru,
But there's no place like London!
I feel home again.
I could hear the city bells
Ring whatever I would do.
No, there's no pl-
TODD:
No, there's no place like London.
ANTHONY: Mr. Todd, sir?
TODD:
You are young.
Life has been kind to you.
You will learn
It is here we go our several ways. Farewell, Anthony, I will not soon forget the
good ship Bountiful nor the young man who saved nay life.
ANTHONY:
There's no cause to thank me for that, sir. It would have been a poor Christian
indeed who'd have spotted you pitching and tossing on that raft and not given
the alarm.
TODD:
There's many a Christian would have done just that and not lost a wink's sleep
for it, either.
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms! . . . Alms! ...
For a miserable woman
On a miserable chilly morning . . .
Thank yer, sir, thank yer.
'Ow would you like a little squiff, dear,
A little jig jig,
A little bounce around the bush?
Wouldn't you like to push me crumpet?
It looks to me, dear,
Like you got plenty there to push.
Alms! ... Alms! .. .
For a pitiful woman
Wot's got wanderin' wits ...
Hey, don't I know you, mister?
TODD:
Must you glare at me, woman? Off with you, off, I say!
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Then 'ow would you like to fish me squiff, mister?
We'll go jig jig,
A little -
TODD:
Off, I said. To the devil with you!
BEGGAR WOMAN:
Alms! . .. Alms! ...
For a desperate woman ...
ANTHONY:
Pardon me, sir, but there's no need to fear the likes of her. She was only a
half-crazed beggar woman. London's full of them.
TODD:
I beg your indulgence, boy. My mind is far from easy, for in these once-familiar
streets I feel the chill of ghostly shadows everywhere. Forgive me.
ANTHONY:
There's nothing to forgive.
TODD:
Farewell, Anthony.
ANTHONY:
Mr. Todd, before we part -
TODD:
What is it?
ANTHONY:
I have honored my promise never to question you. Whatever brought you to that
sorry shipwreck is your affair. And yet, during those many weeks of the voyage
home, I have come to think of you as a friend and, if trouble lies ahead for you
in London ... if you need help - or money ...
TODD:
No!
There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit
And the vermin of the world
Inhabit it
And its morals aren't worth
What a pig could spit
And it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole
Sit the privileged few,
Making mock of the vermin
In the lower zoo,
Turning beauty into filth and greed.
I too
Have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
For the cruelty of men
Is as wondrous as Peru,
But there's no place like London!
There was a barber and his wife,
And she was beautiful.
A foolish barber and his wife.
She was his reason and his life,
And she was beautiful.
And she was virtuous.
And he was -
Naive.
There was another man who saw
That she was beautiful,
A pious vulture of the law
Who with a gesture of his claw
Removed the barber from his plate.
Then there was nothing but to wait
And she would fall,
So soft,
So young,
So lost,
And oh, so beautiful!
ANTHONY:
And the lady, sir - did she - succumb?
TODD:
Oh, that was many years ago ...
I doubt if anyone would know.
Now, leave me, Anthony, I beg of you. There's somewhere I must go, something I
must find out. Now. And alone.
ANTHONY:
But surely we will meet again before I'm off to Plymouth!
TODD:
If you want, you may well find me. Around Fleet Street, I wouldn't wonder.
ANTHONY: Well, until then, Mr. Todd.
TODD:
There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit
And it's filled with people
Who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world
Inhabit it...