A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum Soundtrack
Lyrics
Bring Me My Bride
(Sondheim)
(Miles)
"Stand aside, everyone! I take large steps!"
(Soldiers)
One, two, one, two...
(Miles)
We not only fought but we won, too!
(Soldiers)
One, two, one, two...
Left, right, left, right...
(Miles)
There's none of the enemy left, right?
(Soldiers)
Right! Left!... Uh... Ri - Uh - Left!
(Miles)
"Halt!"
(Pseudolus)
"Hail, Miles Gloriousus. Welcome to my house, great captain. Your bride awaits
you."
(Miles)
"My bride!"
My bride! My bride!
I've come to claim my bride
Come tenderly to crush her against my side!
Let haste be made
I cannot be delayed!
There are lands to conquer
Cities to loot
And people to degrade!
(Soldiers)
Look at those arms!
Look at that chest!
Look at them!
(Miles)
Not to mention the rest!
Even I am impressed
My bride! My bride!
Come bring me to my bride!
My lust for her no longer can be denied!
Convey the news
I have no time to lose!
There are towns to plunder
Temples to burn
And women to abuse!
(Soldiers)
Look at that foot!
Look at that heel!
Mark the magnificent muscles of steel!
(Miles)
I am my ideal!
I, Miles Gloriousus
I, slaugterer of thousands
I, oppressor of the meek
Subduer of the weak
Degrader of the Greek
Destroyer of the Turk
Must hurry back to work!
(Miles) (Courtesans)
I, Miles Gloriousus Him, Miles Gloriousus
I, paragon of virtues Him, paragon of virtues
(Soldiers)
A man among men!
With sword and with pen!
(Miles)
I, in war the most admired
In wit the most inspired
In love the most desired
In dress the best displayed
I am a parade!
(All)
Him!
Him!
Him!
(Soldiers)
Look at those eyes
Cunning and keen!
Look at the size of those thighs
Like a mighty machine!
(Pseudolus)
Those are the mightiest thighs that I ever have theen!
I mean...
(Miles)
My bride! My bride!
Inform my lucky bride:
The fabled arms of miles are open wide!
Make haste! Make haste!
I have no time to waste!
There are shrines I should be sacking
Ribs I should be cracking
Eyes to gouge and booty to divide!
Bring me my bride!
(Soldiers)
Bring him his bride!
(All)
Bring him his bride!